


You’re So Sweet

by watchcatewrite



Series: Pretty Sounds [11]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, List Fic, Parenthood, joshler feb minibang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watchcatewrite/pseuds/watchcatewrite
Summary: Tyler watches her daughter’s chest slowly rise and fall, watches her tiny hands grasp at her skin, and thinks this must be what miracles feel like.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Series: Pretty Sounds [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658485
Comments: 10
Kudos: 8





	1. Hours

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest, this one's really for me. (but hopefully you all enjoy it too.) thank you to blue for organizing this fun minibang, and giving me an excuse to be very self-indulgent. welcome to the world, ro.

Jos had always hated hospitals. 

When she was eight she’d fallen out of a tree, and smashed her nose almost completely flat. She couldn’t remember much of the actual fall, just something like wind rushing past her face, and then stars bursting behind her eyes as she hit the ground. The funny part was she’d been absolutely fine with the whole thing, warmth dripping down her face and onto her t-shirt, until she’d seen the abject horror on her mother’s face. Only then did she start crying. 

It was her first trip to the hospital, but not her last. There was that time she and Jordan were jumping on the bed at four in the morning, resulting in Jordan’s lime green arm cast and Jos’ two month-long grounding. Or when her cousin had been in a car crash so terrifying that Jos wouldn’t get in a car for a week. (Her mom had blamed flu season when she called the school.) And when her grandma was dying, a tiny woman swallowed up by that huge bed, her hands like tissue paper wrapped up in Jos’ clumsy fingers. That had been the worst of all. 

Hospitals were fear, and pain, and everything Jos had spent most of her adult life avoiding. She’d worked very hard to make sure she never had to set foot in another one, and yet. Yet. Jos thought this might be one of the best days of her life, all contained within those white hospital walls. 

Tyler’s breaths have become even and rhythmic over the last thirty minutes, her body unmoving in the bed beside Jos. She glances over at her every few moments, but Tyler doesn’t stir, and Jos lets out a little sigh of relief. It had been a long eighteen hours, and Jos could see the exhaustion in every movement of Tyler’s hands, every line around her eyes. She’d been glad to pull the blanket up over her, to assure her that everything would be fine, that she had this. 

She watches Tyler’s eyelashes flutter against her cheeks, her chest rising and falling with each soft breath, and watches the tiny body in her arms do the same. Jos should have known she’d be a mini Tyler, with all her mood swings, and her stubbornness, and her inexplicable ability to drive Jos absolutely crazy. Jos had spent the last nine months wondering who she’d be most like. If she’d have her nose, or Tyler’s thumbs, if her cheeks would dimple when she smiled, or if she’d look at you like the whole world was behind her eyes. But Jos should have known. 

From the second she’d seen her Jos had known she was going to love her for the rest of her life, just like she’d known the second she’d met Tyler. 

Jos reaches out a hand, the pad of her finger moving gently against soft skin. She feels so brand new, so perfect, and Jos is still trying to remedy the idea that she was  _ inside _ Tyler for the last nine months, waiting for them while they waited for her. She lets out a little sigh, and Jos watches her tiny lips, like flower petals gently falling open and closed, perfect and pink. They open again in a gentle yawn, and Jos feels a smile break out over her face. She’s never seen anything so wonderful in her entire life. 

Hours could fly by with Jos watching her face, enthralled and enamored in a way she’d never been before. Her eyes finally start to open, so slowly, and Jos holds her breath. She’d read somewhere that most babies are born with blue eyes, that they slowly get darker as they get older, like the most wonderful magic trick. But already her eyes are a warm brown, so much like Tyler’s that it makes Jos’ heart ache, like seeing a familiar face in someone entirely new. She blinks up at Jos, both of them quiet, the air still around them. 

“Hi, baby.” Jos whispers, just the barest breath. 

Jos runs her finger over her cheek again, unable to resist. Her eyes slip closed again for a moment, and Jos thinks that might be it, but then she’s looking at her again. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t make a sound just watches. Jos can’t help but chuckle, adjusting her arms and redistributing her weight over them. The baby doesn’t stir, just goes along for the gentle ride, her eyes never leaving Jos’ face. 

“Your mom does this too, watching me. I catch her sometimes, just watching quietly, as I go about my day.” Jos smooths the dusting of dark hair across her forehead, her hand lingering down her cheek. “She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to. I know what she’s thinking.”

There’s a stirring in the bed beside her, Tyler humming quietly. “That I love you?”

Jos glances over from one pair of brown eyes to another, the similarity unmistakable. “That I’m the hottest girl she’s ever laid eyes on.”

Tyler laughs quietly, before her hand moves to cover her abdomen. “Ow dude, don’t make me laugh.”

“Sorry.” Jos whispers. 

Tyler settles back into bed, watching them quietly, just as Jos said she did. Jos thinks about pointing it out but decides against it. Tyler’s tired. Instead she glances at the clock placed over the door of the hospital room, the second hand ticking away. She does a bit of math in her head, coming to the conclusion that not only has Tyler not gotten enough sleep but—

“Our daughter is officially four hours old.”

Tyler grins, her head resting against her pillow as she takes the two of them in. “She’ll be getting her driver’s license any minute then.”

Jos nods, her smile mirroring Tyler’s. “You wanna hold her?”

Jos raises her eyebrows with the question, gesturing as if to hand her over, but Tyler shakes her head, sinking further into the pillow. “I like watching you guys together.”

Jos reaches out a hand, her fingers lacing with Tyler’s over the sheets. Tyler’s grip is light, and Jos can almost feel the exhaustion in her bones. She’s so strong, in so many ways, and Jos finds herself marveling at her too. How many times has Tyler carried Jos? Made her feel safe and supported, like she could do anything even when it all felt so hard. It’s not surprising that Tyler’s made it through this with just as much grace, that she’s brought their daughter into the world, just to share her with Jos. It’s not the first time Jos has felt incredibly lucky. 

“Where’d everybody go?” 

Jos smiles at the question. Only a few hours ago their room had been a flurry of activity, loud laughter and delighted shouts, as grandparents, aunts and uncles were made. It had left Jos feeling breathless when they’d all piled out, like the air had been sucked out of the room with their departure. It had taken her a little while to get used to it being just the three of them, but already she preferred it. 

“Down to the cafeteria. They saw you nodding off and thought they should let you rest. They’ll come back.”

Tyler smiles, her eyes slipping closed again. Her voice is the slightest whisper. “She still watching?”

Jos glances down at the bundle in her arms, soft brown hair peeking out from underneath blankets, warm eyes still resting on her face. She smiles down at her, hoping she knows how much love she’s already surrounded with. “Yep. Her mother’s daughter.”

Tyler hums an affirmation, her eyes still closed where her head rests against the pillow. “Tell us a story. We love your stories.”

Jos gives Tyler’s hand another soft squeeze, her eyes never leaving her daughter’s face, her cheeks still stretched in a smile. 

“Did I ever tell you about the time I broke my nose?”


	2. Days

Tyler’s used to insomnia. She’s used to the deep exhaustion that settles into your bones, and wraps around your head until everything sounds muffled and far away. She’s seen so many early mornings, so many sunrises when she should still be asleep, and gone about her life without a second thought. But this feels different, this feels unlike any tiredness she’s ever experienced. And there’s a small part of her that’s scared at that realization. 

Jim is already nosing at her when the first cries come through the baby monitor. The golden’s been spending most of his time in the baby’s room, curled up next to her crib, and Tyler’s not surprised he heard her stirring before Tyler did. Despite Jos’ protests Tyler had been hesitant at first, her old prejudices overruling her earned trust. But Jim had proven time and again how patient he could be, how kind, and Tyler had slowly relented.

“Jos.” Her voice feels like coarse sand, rough against the quiet of the room. 

“It’s your turn.” The reply is mumbled, pressed into a pillow, barely awake. “You were asleep.”

As far as words Jos has mumbled into her pillow go, they’re by far Tyler’s least favorite. But she trusts that Jos is telling her the truth. She nods slowly, humming a response, and slowly pulls herself out of bed. Jim pads along behind her, an ever present shadow. Tyler wonders when he sleeps, if he’s as exhausted as the two of them. She doesn’t bother with the light when she reaches the room, the sunlight peeking through the windows enough to light her way. 

She’s fussing, the large crib seemingly swallowing her up, and Tyler lets out a sigh as she reaches for her. “I know, sweet pea. I’m here.”

She whimpers a bit as Tyler settles into the rocking chair in the corner, pulling her feet up underneath her and settling the pillow over her lap. It’s easy to pull her tank top up, tucking it under her chin as she guides her daughter’s mouth to her nipple. It’s still the weirdest feeling, as she latches on and starts nursing. Tyler had (hilariously, in Jos’ opinion) assumed that it would be like every other time someone had sucked on her nipple. That there would be some small part of her that enjoyed it. And honestly, sometimes there was, but most times it was just weird. Or painful. 

Tyler lets her shirt drop softly, the hem resting against the tiny face pressed against her skin. She reaches out gently with a finger to brush her cheek, so warm and soft. Tyler has to remind herself sometimes that she’s real, that this isn’t some elaborate dream that she’s going to wake up from at any moment. The little mouth gives a particularly hard tug and Tyler almost laughs as she winces. There’s no imagining that. 

Jim paces around the room for a bit, as Tyler watches. Nosing at the carpet, around the rocking chair, near the crib, looking for any signs that something’s amiss. Finally he seems satisfied and plants himself in front of Tyler, his head coming to rest on her knee. Tyler smiles at him gently as she reaches out a hand to scratch behind his ears. She can’t help feeling guilty for how she’d kept him at arm’s length the first few days. 

“I’m sorry, handsome. I was just being careful.” Jim’s tail thumps against the carpet in response, and Tyler takes it as an acceptance of her apology. “Thanks, buddy.”

The room settles back into silence, only the quietest noises coming from the smallest occupant. Tyler lets her head rest back against the chair, lets herself focus on her evening breaths, the small sounds her daughter makes as she eats. This feeling washes over her, sudden and strong, and Tyler tries to name it as something familiar. It takes her a few moments, before she realizes just what it is. 

Disbelief. 

How many times had she been lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, begging her mind to quiet, to let her rest? How many times had she thought about this moment as some unreachable peak, something she wanted so desperately but would never see? Even the thought of Jos, asleep in the other room, in their bed, feels like a dream. Tyler had spent so many hours thinking about her, loving her, dreaming about their life together, that to see it before her eyes feels unreal. It’s no surprise that she constantly finds herself reaching out to touch both of them, to assure herself they’re real. Watching to make sure they don’t disappear right in front of her. 

Tyler watches her daughter’s chest slowly rise and fall, watches her tiny hands grasp at her skin, and thinks this must be what miracles feel like. She could remember a time when she didn’t think God existed, that there couldn’t be any sense to the world, that it was all just random. Tyler had looked for meaning everywhere, in everything, and had found it only once, when Jos had come into her life. What she and Jos had built—their music, their life—that was meaningful. If that was all Tyler had found she would have been grateful, but this was so much more. 

She can feel her eyelids growing heavy, sleep pulling at her again. Tyler can’t remember the last time she’d gotten real, uninterrupted sleep, and can’t even fathom a time when there was anything in her head that wasn’t the tiny form resting in her arms. It hasn’t even been a full week and already she’s exhausted, the next 18+ years feeling like an eternity. Jim lets out a little huff, and Tyler almost agrees with him. But it’s too much work to get out the words. 

Jos finds them an hour later, when her morning alarm goes off. She’s trying to keep some semblance of a routine, if only to keep her head in check. It’s when she doesn’t get her regular runs, when she doesn’t keep up with practice and her boxing, that things all start to get a little sharp around the edges. She can’t afford that when she has three people relying on her now, when she doesn’t have time to break down. So she tries, as tired as she feels. 

Tyler’s completely passed out in the rocking chair, their daughter’s tiny face resting against her breast. There’s a part of Jos that worries, about what could have happened, but nothing has, and instead she lets herself enjoy the moment. Tyler’s hair is mussed, her mouth slightly open, and the little head in her lap is almost a perfect mirror. She really is a little Tyler. How did Jos get so lucky?

Jos reaches for her, gently pulling her from Tyler’s arms, and the woman stirs. “Shh, just me. It’s okay.”

It’s as much for the baby as it is for Tyler, the former thankfully letting out a little sigh, but giving no other indication that she’s not satiated and sleeping soundly. Jos deposits her in the crib, reaching down to give Jim a soft scratch behind the ears, before crossing the room back to Tyler. She still hasn’t opened her eyes, determined not to give up on sleep so easily, and Jos smiles at her fondly. It’s still just as easy to scoop her up in Jos’ arms, to carry her back to their bed. 

Jos slips her quietly back under the covers, sliding the comforter over Tyler’s shoulder. The other woman hums softly, her hand reaching up to grab at it, pulling it under her chin. Jos chuckles, a smile splitting her face, and leans down to press a soft kiss against her temple. She’s almost feeling confident that Tyler’s slipped back to sleep, before a hand reaches out from the bed to wrap around her wrist, keeping her close. 

“Don’t go.” The voice is quiet, rough, and it makes Jos want to brush the hair from what she knows is a furrowed brow. 

She crouches down at the side of the bed, Tyler turning slowly to face her, and Jos cups her cheek gently. “I gotta go for a run.”

“Is it getting too loud?” Tyler doesn’t mean the house. Jos knows. 

“No, but I feel like I’m vibrating.”

“Sounds like fun.” Tyler smiles lasciviously, and Jos laughs quietly. 

“Less fun than you’d think.” She leans in slowly, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “Go back to sleep, I’ll be back before she wakes up again.”

“And then you’ll come back to bed?” Tyler’s hand tightens around her wrist, and Jos finally reaches up to tuck that dark hair behind her ear. 

“Okay.” She whispers. 

Tyler finally releases her, her hand receding back under the blanket. Jos stops in the doorway to watch her for a moment, to let herself feel lucky and so unbelievably happy, before the exhaustion sets back in. She walks down the hallway and stops in the doorway of the other room, Jim’s head picking up off the floor. His tail begins to thump against the carpet when he realizes what she’s wearing, but Jos puts a finger to her lips and he starts to quiet. She smiles at him sadly, whispering into the still room already beginning to fill with morning light. 

“Stay here and take care of my girls, bud. We’ll go out next time, okay?”

Jim’s head drops back to the floor and Jos waves at him softly as she exits, the smile still warm on her face. The morning air is crisp outside, that kind of freshness that makes you feel like you’re breathing in the new day with every inhale. Jos pauses in front of the house, taking in a few deep breaths as she tips her face toward the sun. She’s still tired, they both are, but she knows it’s all going to be okay, that they’ll get through the rough bits, together, and enjoy every little bit in between. 

She turns to head down the street, her feet falling into a familiar rhythm, like a heartbeat, as the rest of the world melts away.


	3. Months

“Diapers?”

“Uh huh.” Jos nods, her head almost buried in the diaper bag in front of her. 

Tyler reads the next item on the list, the baby perched on her hip. “Wipes?”

Jos nods again, affirming, and Tyler continues. “Changing cloth? Extra pants? Extra shirt?”

With each response Tyler makes her way down the sizable list, finally lowering it with a, “Jesus babe, it’s one afternoon at the pumpkin patch, we need all this?”

Jos glowers at her, zipping the bag and hoisting it onto her shoulder before extending her arms. Tyler places the baby there carefully before turning to pull on her jacket and beanie. The other two are dressed similarly, their daughter in a hand-knit beanie from Jos’ mom that Tyler had literally cried over while still in the throes of postpartum hormones. Jos had tried to insist earlier that it was too cold to go out, but they’d been planning the trip all week, and Tyler was going stir crazy. If she wasn’t in the studio she was with the baby, Jos similarly scheduled, and they could all use a little fresh air. 

Jos glances down at the pom-pom covered head as Tyler zips her jacket. “Sorry I’m the only one who loves you, peanut. Mommy would rather you just sit in your own shit.”

Tyler laughs, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. “When her first word is ‘shit’ I’m gonna laugh straight in your face.”

Jos scowls at her again, following Tyler out the front door and to the car. The drive to the pumpkin patch isn’t long. Tyler sings the whole way there, which always seems to keep the baby quiet, Jos drumming along on the dashboard or the door gently. The pumpkin patch is blessedly empty on a Wednesday mid-morning, and they find a spot easily. Jos thinks they’re probably a little too early into the month to be doing this, but at least they’ll have their choice of pumpkins. They unload like a well oiled machine now: Tyler taking the wrap from the diaper bag as Jos takes the baby out of the car seat, Tyler wrapping it around them gently and tying it, before picking up the diaper bag and slinging it over her shoulder. 

Tyler leans toward Jos, pulling the beanie back just a bit, and placing a soft kiss against the tiniest brown curls, before pushing it back into place. “Alright girls, let's go find us a pumpkin.”

They wander through the collection of pumpkins, the morning crisp and cool. Jos loves the sound of the hay crunching under her shoes, the way her breath sits in the air just briefly before disappearing again. The little head pressed against her chest moves slowly from side to side, taking in her surroundings. Jos rubs a hand up and down her back absentmindedly, humming the rest of the song they’d been singing in the car. She’s no Tyler, but still no sounds come from the little form wrapped against her body. Tyler stays at her shoulder, darting off occasionally to inspect their prospective gourds. 

Jos glances down at the little head beneath hers, dark eyes trained somewhere to the left. She points to one of the pumpkins down on the ground, speaking gently. “What do you think, baby, this one?”

Tyler lifts her head from a spot a few feet off, following Jos’ finger. “You guys find a good one?”

Jos turns to answer her, hands resting softly against their daughter’s back. “How about one of these, Ty?”

Tyler walks closer, looking over the pumpkins scattered around their feet, and letting out the occasional “hmm.” Jos watches with a smile on her face, leaning down to whisper. “She’s an expert pumpkin picker, peanut. Watch.”

Tyler lifts her head, her eyes squinting in the growing sunlight. “You say something?”

“I told her you’re an expert pumpkin picker.” Jos gestures with her head down to the baby, smiling warmly.

Tyler stands back up, hands on her hips and puffs out her chest. “That I am, that I am.”

They both dissolve into laughter, Jos leaning forward to kiss Tyler on the cheek softly. The other woman turns bright red, clearing her throat awkwardly before leaning down to examine the pumpkins again. Jos almost gives her a hard time, something about them being married and Tyler not needing to blush every time Jos kisses her, but it’s too sweet and Jos doesn’t want to ruin it. Before long they’ve picked out their pumpkins: two larger ones for each of them, and a small one for the baby. She won’t be doing any carving, of course, but Tyler likes the symmetry of it. 

Tyler’s cold hand slips into Jos’ as they walk back to the car, the only sound the crunch under their feet and the soft murmuring of the little lips pressed against Jos’ sternum. Jos leans down to peek under the rainbow colored pom-pom, finding tiny eyelashes fluttering against tiny cheeks as she lets out a big yawn. She lifts her head and looks over at Tyler, motioning down at the baby slowly falling asleep against her chest. Tyler catches her meaning, tilting her head until she can see her tiny face, a warm smile breaking out over her own. She gives Jos’ hand a small squeeze and they both share a smile. 

The drive back to the house is quieter, their fingers threaded together over the center console. Jos’ eyes trace the telephone wires against the bright blue sky, watching as fluffy clouds drift in and out of her field of vision. They arrive back home all too soon, shuffling back inside as they all shed layers. Jos carefully peels off the tiny jacket and shoes, without so much as a single noise from their small wearer. She’s down to just her onesie and socks without even stirring, and Jos knows this is going to be a good, long nap. 

When she arrives back in the kitchen, after laying her down in the crib, Tyler’s already pulling out a pot, Jim tagging along at Jos’ heels. Jos slides onto a stool in front of the counter, her hand scratching lightly behind his ears. She watches as Tyler pulls a couple cinnamon sticks from the jar, dropping them into the pot along with some cloves and a few cranberries from the refrigerator. She covers the spices and fruit with a heavy glug of apple cider, from the same farm they’d purchased the pumpkins from only a half hour ago, before placing on the lid and putting it over a low heat. 

Jos watches her stir the mixture gently, as the room starts to fill with the smell of warm apple cider, a lazy smile breaking out over her face. It’s one of the few things she trusts Tyler to make in the kitchen, since it’s pretty hard to screw up (though Tyler’s achieved it more than once) and something Tyler’s made frequently. She’d told her once, some late night in the back of a van, that one of the things she loved most about fall was warm apple cider. Jos should have  _ known _ the first time Tyler had made it for her, but they’d both been a little oblivious back then. 

Tyler slides the mug in front of her carefully, steam still rising from the top, and Jos holds it gently with both hands. She takes in a large breath, a smile splitting her face as her eyes fall closed with a soft hum. A responding smile breaks out over Tyler’s face as she watches her wife, Jos’ cheeks pinking from the warmth. 

“I do alright?”

Jos’ eyes open slowly, leaning down to take a small sip before answering. “You did perfect babe, thank you.”

“Good.” Tyler grins at her before taking a sip from her own mug, sweet and spicy cider warming her all the way down into her stomach. “She go down okay?”

Tyler motions toward the baby’s room with her chin, mug still clasped between her hands, just like Jos, and Jos nods. “Out like a light. I think she’s more like me in that way.”

Tyler chuckles, nodding. “God knows I’ve never gotten an easy night of sleep in my life.”

They’re quiet for a while, grouped around the kitchen counter. Jos keeps one hand on Jim’s head, scratching softly where his chin rests on her knee, while Tyler leans against the counter. It’s nice, just the two of them, enjoying the quiet. They’ve gotten more sleep this month than the last three, but it still hasn’t been smooth sailing. Tyler’s forgetting what it was like when it was just them and Jim in the house, and these moments are a nice reminder. They both drain their mugs after a while, Jos glancing down at her watch. 

“We’ve probably got another good half hour. Wanna watch some Netflix?”

Tyler nods as she collects their mugs, depositing them softly in the sink. She joins Jos on the couch, both of them pulling their feet up underneath them before Tyler pulls a blanket across their laps. Jos leans against her, pillowing her head on Tyler’s shoulder, and Tyler lifts her arm to pull her tighter against her chest. Jos lets out a little sigh, so much like the ones their daughter makes, and Tyler can’t help smiling again. She drops her head to kiss the crown of Jos’ head softly, the other woman settling against her even more. 

Tyler doesn’t remember even feeling tired, but she’s not surprised when she wakes up on the couch a few hours later. She’s been so exhausted the last few months, between the baby and the new record (their other baby, Jos calls it), that she’s pretty sure she doesn’t even get tired anymore, it just settles into her bones like a constant ache. Jos is still next to her on the couch, Jim at their feet, but there’s a new addition as well. She’s in a different outfit than she was that morning, and Tyler knows she’s missed another diaper changing. Jos will no doubt give her a hard time about it later. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Tyler reaches out a hand to wrap around a chubby calf, as tiny feet bounce on top of Jos thighs. 

“Y’know, you used to call  _ me _ that.” Jos looks over at her, a grin on her face, before leaning into the baby and putting on what Tyler had deemed The Voice. “Yeah, Mommy used to call  _ me _ that before you came along, peanut.”

“I still do.” Tyler leans over to press a kiss against Jos’ cheek, before whispering. “Beautiful.”

“Nuh uh, not gonna work. That’s two diaper changes you’ve ‘slept through’ today.” 

Tyler laughs, rolling her eyes, before resting her head on Jos’ shoulder. The little legs balancing on Jos’ lap pump up and down, a wide smile splitting round cheeks. Tyler can’t help grinning back at her, reaching out a hand to grab at her belly lightly. The baby squeals loudly, her hands reaching for Jos’ face, and the woman leans forward to blow a raspberry against her cheek. This elicits another loud laugh, and both women grin at each other, proud of their handiwork. 

Tyler turns her head to kiss Jos’ neck softly, before resting on her shoulder again. Jos makes faces at the little girl, who continues to squeal and reach for her. She leans forward every few moments to blow more raspberries and Tyler watches the two of them, smiling. It’s a weird feeling, being so happy. Tyler had looked for this her whole life, worked for it, and here it was in the tiniest moment, on a random afternoon in early October. So effortless and easy. 

She hums contentedly, and Jos’ head turns at the sound, catching Tyler’s soft smile as she watches the two of them. “Good day, babe?”

Tyler nods gently, her head moving against Jos’ shoulder, as she reaches out for a tiny hand. Little fingers wrap around her own and Tyler smiles again. “The best.”


	4. Years

The morning of the party is chaos. It just goes to show that no matter how much you plan, some things really are out of your control. Like your (now) four year old running screaming into the bedroom, Jim on her heels, as she proclaims that it’s her birthday. Or said screaming waking up your one month old, causing Jim to stop dead in his tracks and whip his head toward the bedroom like a cartoon of a hunting dog. Tyler’s lucky she doesn’t actually hit the floor when she rolls out of bed, so discombobulated by the lack of sleep and sudden wrenching back to consciousness. 

“Baby, let’s let Momma sleep, please?” Tyler tries to herd her toward the door, Jos letting out a low moan before pulling a pillow over her head. She’d been up until two the night before with the baby. 

“But it’s my birthday!” She can see a pout forming on that tiny, perfect face, and Tyler tries to head it off. 

“Why don’t you go pick out your party clothes?” 

These seem to be the magic words, as a large smile splits her face. Tyler can practically see the sparkles in her eyes as she nods wordlessly before taking off for her bedroom at high speed. It’s not exactly the gentle morning Tyler had been hoping for, and she’s got a sinking feeling her days of gentle mornings are over. She counts quietly in her head as she walks to the baby’s room, adding up the hours of sleep she’s gotten the last month and comparing them to the first time they’d done this. Suddenly she remembers why she’s been tired for the last four years. 

“I’m sorry sweet pea, did your sister wake you up?” Tiny fists float through the air as Tyler reaches into her crib, almost catching her across the chin. “You know, you’re getting better at that. Truly your Momma’s daughter.”

Tyler has her swaddled against her chest without having to think about it, settling into the rocking chair in the corner. It’s all muscle memory at this point, things she thought she’d forgotten the last few years, but had come roaring back with a vengeance. She hums quietly as she rocks back and forth, her own eyelids threatening to droop. The littlest one quiets easily, slipping back into sleep after a few minutes. Tyler can’t help smiling down at her, a small laugh on her lips. 

“You are so much like your mom.”

The pale pink bedroom is a mess when she finally arrives, clothes strewn into every corner of the room. Her mini me prances around the room in a large teal tutu, her worn high tops on her feet (untied, they haven’t mastered that yet), and her favorite t-shirt pulled haphazardly over her head. Tyler scoops her up easily, blowing a large raspberry against the red bear head in the middle of her shirt. The little girl squeals laughing, trying to wriggle out of her arms. 

“Is this it? The finished look?” Tyler deposits her back on the ground and she jumps up and down a few times to puff up her skirt before nodding. “You don’t wanna wear the dress grandma gave you?”

This earns Tyler a large scowl, arms crossed over her chest tightly. “Okay, Uncle Mark’s shirt it is. But if Momma asks I tried.”

She doesn’t really get that joke, but she reaches for Tyler all the same, a big grin on her face. Tyler lifts her up again, spinning her around before pulling her close enough to blow another raspberry into her neck. She’ll never, ever get tired of that laugh. They fall to the ground softly, little body stacked on top of big, and Tyler wraps her arms around her tightly. 

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?” Tyler lifts her head to meet the other pair of dark brown eyes, so much like her own. 

“It’s not the baby’s birthday, right?”

This has been a topic of much concern the last few weeks. “No sweet pea, it’s only your birthday. The baby’s birthday is next year.”

She seems satisfied with this answer, wriggling until she can flip over onto her back, settling against Tyler’s stomach. Tyler catches a stray elbow in the ribs but hardly flinches, wrapping her arms back around her when she’s done moving. They both stare up at the ceiling, where soft clouds float across a pale blue sky. Tyler can almost feel the grass underneath her, just like so many afternoons they’d spent in the backyard, just the two of them, with her sunning on Tyler’s stomach. She’s so big now she almost doesn’t fit. 

“Who are you most excited to see?” Tyler grabs at her belly lightly, earning her another small laugh. 

There’s movement on her chest as she considers, her head tilting back toward Tyler. “Grandma. And Grandpa. And Nana and Pops.”

She continues naming names, the list growing longer and longer until she finally throws her hands up toward the clouds with a loud, “everybody!” Tyler laughs, pulling her closer against her chest until she can push her face against her little neck. She’s rewarded with another beautiful squeal, and Tyler kisses her on her perfect (not-so-chubby) cheek. She flips back around to throw her arms around Tyler’s neck, and Tyler buries her face in her long, dark hair. She smells like that no tears shampoo Jos buys, and sunshine. Tyler hopes she never grows out of that smell. 

She finally leans back until she can see her face again. “Okay, you wanna help Mommy pick out her party clothes?”

An hour later they’re grouped in the kitchen, Tyler with the baby wrapped against her chest, and the birthday girl sitting at the counter in front of a bowl of Cheerios. Jos finally shuffles in, curls wild around her head and Tyler’s slippers on her feet. She leans down to press a kiss into her daughter’s cheek, bringing on another squeal, as Tyler smiles watching them both. The baby is next, Jos leaning in to place a soft kiss against the crown of her head, before finally kissing Tyler gently on the cheek. 

“I see how it is. I’m third now, huh?”

Jos winks at her as she shuffles over to the coffee maker, a fresh pot already waiting for her. “You know it, baby.”

Jos clutches the mug between her hands, leaning back against the kitchen counter. She takes a moment to inhale softly before taking her first sip. Savoring it. Tyler knows this one-cup-a-day thing while she’s breastfeeding is really killing her, and knows better than to interrupt this time. Jos takes a few more sips before gesturing to their daughter with her chin, a wry smile on her face. 

“I see we’re representing Reel Bear Media again today.” She glances over to look at Tyler pointedly and Tyler shrugs. 

“At least it’s clean? And you know Mark will get a kick out of it.”

Jos shakes her head, smiling as she crosses the kitchen, mug still clutched in her hand. She leans in to whisper before pressing another kiss into Tyler’s cheek. “Mark’s gonna have to make her another one soon, kid’s growing like a weed.”

Tyler laughs, giving her arm a soft squeeze as she passes. “Tell me about it. She asked me for a car this morning.”

Jos chuckles, taking another sip of her coffee. When she reaches the counter she holds out a hand, waiting patiently as the little body clambers down from the tall stool. “Come on baby, come help Momma pick out her party clothes. I wanna look as good as Mommy.”

Jos offers her a wink and a smile before they both disappear down the hallway, headed toward the master bedroom. Tyler grins at their receding forms, her hand moving up and down over the baby’s back rhythmically. She’s quiet, the occasional soft sigh as she settles against her, but otherwise sleeping soundly. Tyler’s happy, once again, that they never insisted on a policy of absolute silence while either of their girls slept. God knows she’d literally never get anything done otherwise. 

It’s not much later that the doorbell rings, Tyler making her way to the front door to welcome in the caterers. She and Jos had been realistic about this party from the beginning, and there was just no way either of them were going to cook. Not for the amount of people coming, and not on the amount of sleep they’d gotten the last few weeks. Tyler had almost poured orange juice into her daughter’s cereal this morning, so she was pretty sure this had been the right decision on their part. Behind the caterers is a familiar face, peeking around a large cake box. 

“Hey Mom.” Tyler leans across to give her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to bump the tiny head against the large pink box. 

“Hi sweetheart, how’re you doing?” Kelly’s eyes are filled with sympathy, and Tyler has no doubt that even more than thirty years later she remembers exactly how Tyler’s feeling. 

“Okay. Tired. But I think that’s my default now.”

“ _ Now _ ?” Kelly gives her a look and Tyler can’t help laughing as her mother leans down to place a soft kiss on the baby’s head. 

“That’s fair.”

Tyler ushers her into the kitchen, placing the cake on a free bit of counter. She can’t help sneaking a peek, and isn’t surprised to find that it’s perfect. Her mom had insisted on taking care of the cake herself, driving out to Tyler’s favorite little bakery, that had made all of her own birthday cakes growing up. It was a sweet tradition that Tyler had been happy to keep alive. And the fact that she’d no doubt have some extra cake to herself tonight didn’t hurt either. 

“Where’s Jos?” Kelly glances around the kitchen. 

“Getting ready. The birthday girl is picking out our outfits for us today.” 

“Ah, that explains it.” Kelly looks over Tyler’s paint-splattered overalls, covering her oversized Ned sleeping shirt, and Jos’ lime green Nikes. 

Tyler shrugs again. “What can I say, the kid’s got style.”

“She must get that from Jos.” Kelly’s grin is mischievous, laughing as Tyler’s mouth drops open in shock. 

“Wow. Harsh, Mom. By the way, you lose your husband on the way here or…?”

Kelly smacks her lightly on the arm. “He’ll be here in a bit. I told him I didn’t want the cake to be late and he accused me of showing up to parties too early, so we decided to take two cars.”

“Ah, romance. I hope Jos and I are that happy forty years down the road.” This earns her another light smack but the two of them only laugh. 

Before long the house is a sea of bodies, more people than Tyler even realized she knew. There’s hometown friends and tour friends, immediate family and found family. Tyler loves watching all of her worlds collide in one place, Brad moving around the house to take the occasional photo like a bridge in between. Like Mark he’s become closer to family the last few years, a favorite uncle around their house. Jordan is one of the last to arrive, to delighted squeals of “Unky Dunky,” and Tyler elbows Jos lightly where they’re standing together in the kitchen. Jos lowers her drink, looking over at her. 

“I swear she looks more and more like him every year. Maybe it’s time to tell her.”

Jos snorts before taking another sip of her soda. “Yeah, four seems like the perfect age to have the ‘uncle dad’ conversation. How about we wait until she can write her own name at least?”

She gestures to the baby still strapped to Tyler’s chest. “Or maybe you wanna let her know that Zack’s her dad too, just get it out of the way early.”

“Alright, alright, shut up.” Jos laughs as Tyler leans into her heavily with her shoulder, kissing Tyler’s temple gently. 

“Lets focus on cake for now, before we start spilling family secrets, sound good?” 

Tyler sticks her tongue out at her as Jos walks toward the backyard, calling for everyone to come sing happy birthday. She places the four candles carefully, right below the name written across the middle of the cake, as she watches the birthday girl bounce in her seat excitedly. Everyone gathers around her, smiling and laughing, and Tyler gets that feeling again. Disbelief at what she's been blessed with, blissful happiness that she gets to do this every day for the rest of her life. Touring is great and all, but have you ever sung a four year old happy birthday?

Tyler can tell you, there’s nothing better. 


End file.
